Poetry 2019 Longlist, Mannika Solanki

The First and The Last

For many years, I remember,

Having a hollow space in my heart.

For many years, I remember,

Wanting to fill the space up fast.

For many years, I remember,

Wanting someone next to me at night.

For many years, I remember,

Wanting that bright beautiful smile.

For many years now, I’ve been trying,

To empty a place in my heart.

For many years now, I’ve been trying,

To fill it with someone else, at last.

For many years now, I’ve been trying,

To get you out of my dreams.

For many years now, I’ve been trying,

To forget the most beautiful smile I’d seen.