Naira’s Cruise Trip with Family
15-06-1990
Dear Diary,
There is a lot that is happening in my life. I know, I have returned to you after a long time.And I really feel that you are the one who will understand me at this moment.
In two days, all of us will be on a family cruise that one of the client of my friend’s company has offered me. My dear friend will also be there on the ship. Though my interaction with him will be very less because of my family’s presence.
My family -mom, dad and sis elder to me by 5 years rule my life. They are protective, they are over protective at times, I feel. But at the same time, I think, it’s their care and concern for me.
But the bigger question which poses here is that they just don’t have an ounce of confidence in me. They don’t trust me a bit.
For how long will I have to prove myself?
People say-parents are elder, more experienced and children must obey them. Children should agree to their decisions.
How far is this notion true, I just don’t get it. Talking about my life, my family has completely failed to understand me. And all I do is live under a roof with people, who are no less than intelligence officers at one time and preachers or saints at the other time.
It feels that I am under consistent supervision, guidance and hundreds to thousands of taunts and advises about to do this or that or to not do.
There is never a direct, straight-forward communication between me and my family. Our communication is always indirect which includes citing newspaper articles, reports or some dialogues at the time when we are watching TV.
I know I have been arrogant, rude, an angry cloud that always bursts out its anger. But I do care for them.
I am not ‘gaudy’, ‘irresponsible’ or ‘bad’, ‘alcoholic’, ‘always hanging with guys’ type.
NO, I’M NOT.
I know my limitations. And attraction towards guys is a pretty natural phenomenon. This attraction does not mean that I am being involved with guys at a extreme level.
It’s really really unfortunate that my family failed to be my friends, by just doubting. Doubting my abilities, capabilities and more than that my character.
I wish and I really wish that things were different. Instead of explaining me things the way they did, they could have acted in a more supportive manner.
Today also their dialogue haunts me - “ we will send you away from the house if anything wrong happens”
Because of all these situations, I look for emotional support in people outside rather than my own family. This is what they have failed to understand.
But, now they never get a chance to do so!
Naira, an ambitious girl who worked in media was on a four day Singapore cruise with her family.
It was the third day of the cruise and there was just no smile on Naira’s face. Not even anyone had heard her voice properly. All she spoke was ‘yes’, ‘no’ and she had remained quiet for an entire week now.
It was 5.00 AM in the morning. Naira went to the deck, sat there for a while watching the morning sky. Her friend who accompanied her followed her to the deck as he saw her passing by in the ally.
The friend, mentor, coach , guide or her emotional support, Rishi was elder to her. But both shared a special bond. She had interned under him and since then both shared a quite comfortable, unconditional and friendly relationship with no boundaries, no expectations, and no secrets.
15-06-1990
Dear Diary,
There is a lot that is happening in my life. I know, I have returned to you after a long time.And I really feel that you are the one who will understand me at this moment.
In two days, all of us will be on a family cruise that one of the client of my friend’s company has offered me. My dear friend will also be there on the ship. Though my interaction with him will be very less because of my family’s presence.
My family -mom, dad and sis elder to me by 5 years rule my life. They are protective, they are over protective at times, I feel. But at the same time, I think, it’s their care and concern for me.
But the bigger question which poses here is that they just don’t have an ounce of confidence in me. They don’t trust me a bit.
For how long will I have to prove myself?
People say-parents are elder, more experienced and children must obey them. Children should agree to their decisions.
How far is this notion true, I just don’t get it. Talking about my life, my family has completely failed to understand me. And all I do is live under a roof with people, who are no less than intelligence officers at one time and preachers or saints at the other time.
It feels that I am under consistent supervision, guidance and hundreds to thousands of taunts and advises about to do this or that or to not do.
There is never a direct, straight-forward communication between me and my family. Our communication is always indirect which includes citing newspaper articles, reports or some dialogues at the time when we are watching TV.
I know I have been arrogant, rude, an angry cloud that always bursts out its anger. But I do care for them.
I am not ‘gaudy’, ‘irresponsible’ or ‘bad’, ‘alcoholic’, ‘always hanging with guys’ type.
NO, I’M NOT.
I know my limitations. And attraction towards guys is a pretty natural phenomenon. This attraction does not mean that I am being involved with guys at a extreme level.
It’s really really unfortunate that my family failed to be my friends, by just doubting. Doubting my abilities, capabilities and more than that my character.
I wish and I really wish that things were different. Instead of explaining me things the way they did, they could have acted in a more supportive manner.
Today also their dialogue haunts me - “ we will send you away from the house if anything wrong happens”
Because of all these situations, I look for emotional support in people outside rather than my own family. This is what they have failed to understand.
But, now they never get a chance to do so!
Naira, an ambitious girl who worked in media was on a four day Singapore cruise with her family.
It was the third day of the cruise and there was just no smile on Naira’s face. Not even anyone had heard her voice properly. All she spoke was ‘yes’, ‘no’ and she had remained quiet for an entire week now.
It was 5.00 AM in the morning. Naira went to the deck, sat there for a while watching the morning sky. Her friend who accompanied her followed her to the deck as he saw her passing by in the ally.
The friend, mentor, coach , guide or her emotional support, Rishi was elder to her. But both shared a special bond. She had interned under him and since then both shared a quite comfortable, unconditional and friendly relationship with no boundaries, no expectations, and no secrets.
“What’s up girl? Is everything fine? You look sad?” asked Rishi, as he stood beside Naira on the deck.
“Hmm.., all is well, yet nothing is good,” she responded.
Rishi asked, “ why? What happened?
Taking a deep breath, Naira told him everything that happened four days back, when Rishi left her house after giving the passes to the tour.
“Dear Diary,
It’s over for me. My life has nothing left to it. I was only living for the sake of my family, else, life had ended for me long back.
I am done. I have no strength.”
Writing this last line, on fourth day at the cruise around 3.00AM, Naira went to the deck, wearing a special chain with a green emerald, gifted by her family on her last birthday.
Not thinking twice, Naira, impulsively jumped from the deck into the blue sea.
Around 12 in the afternoon, when she was supposed to be awarded for the success of the campaign she led, no one could find her and came to know of her absence.
There was a chaos, hue and cry by her family members.When she was nowhere to be found, coast guards were informed, sea divers started the search.
Meanwhile, her room was also introspected for some clues. Rishi took notice of the diary placed under her pillow and glanced at it quickly.
Everything was clear to him!
He was shocked and upset. He ordered the rescue team to quicken the search operation.
He rushed to her family and read the diary.
Apparently, nothing could be done now, it was too late. Yet there was much to be done. Rishi, remembered that she had asked him to keep an envelope with him. He rushed to get the envelope.
He opened the envelope and read it.
It was Naira’s new venture, she was training the foster kids, who worked with her.
She had transferred the part ownership to her family and a part to Rishi.
There also was a small note separately addressed to Rishi that read
‘ I am sorry. I know you are strong enough to take it.’ with love - Naira’
“Hmm.., all is well, yet nothing is good,” she responded.
Rishi asked, “ why? What happened?
Taking a deep breath, Naira told him everything that happened four days back, when Rishi left her house after giving the passes to the tour.
“Dear Diary,
It’s over for me. My life has nothing left to it. I was only living for the sake of my family, else, life had ended for me long back.
I am done. I have no strength.”
Writing this last line, on fourth day at the cruise around 3.00AM, Naira went to the deck, wearing a special chain with a green emerald, gifted by her family on her last birthday.
Not thinking twice, Naira, impulsively jumped from the deck into the blue sea.
Around 12 in the afternoon, when she was supposed to be awarded for the success of the campaign she led, no one could find her and came to know of her absence.
There was a chaos, hue and cry by her family members.When she was nowhere to be found, coast guards were informed, sea divers started the search.
Meanwhile, her room was also introspected for some clues. Rishi took notice of the diary placed under her pillow and glanced at it quickly.
Everything was clear to him!
He was shocked and upset. He ordered the rescue team to quicken the search operation.
He rushed to her family and read the diary.
Apparently, nothing could be done now, it was too late. Yet there was much to be done. Rishi, remembered that she had asked him to keep an envelope with him. He rushed to get the envelope.
He opened the envelope and read it.
It was Naira’s new venture, she was training the foster kids, who worked with her.
She had transferred the part ownership to her family and a part to Rishi.
There also was a small note separately addressed to Rishi that read
‘ I am sorry. I know you are strong enough to take it.’ with love - Naira’
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